It's coming up in a couple of months and I've been thinking quite a bit about it. I've always had the idea that I would never drink. However, in the last couple of months I've changed my mind a bit, in that I would probably only drink specific wine that I thought smelled good. The reason I don't want to drink in the first place is that I have alcoholics on both sides of my family, so I'm susceptible to alcoholism, and I have a dependent attitude. This means I have a tendency to depend on substances to make me feel better about myself like using vitamins, diet pills, Oreos, or medication. I just feel better when I take things, which is bad. Because of that I've also decided that I'd only ever drink a glass or two of wine with dinner maybe once or twice a week. I also have a complex where I feel weird doing adult-ish things because I still feel like I'm 16, so I'd probably have to be married first to drink wine with dinner and not feel super weird.
I think way too much about stuff.
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